Saturday, September 20, 2014
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Sunday, February 9, 2014
HAPPY MARRIAGE - Secrets to a happier Marriage
1) Believing the Best in One Another: Believe each other has the best intentions— even when one spouse is emotionally hurt by another — should be a prerequisite in a happy marriage.
A happy couple would think, ‘That hurt but I know they love me,’ this done rather than assuming that either spouse intentionally sought to inflict emotional pain.
2) Changing Attitudes: Make sure you're able to snap yourself out of frustrations with one another and you both will be generally happier. Making these attitude adjustments when you're upset is key.
“These couple have completely learned to change their feelings. We think when we’re upset … our feelings are what they are,” she said. “Well, what these happy couples have done is, they’ve learned the trick. Most of the time there’s this action that they do where they talk themselves out of being mad — of having these negative feelings.”
3) The Little Things: Sometimes, the little things really do matter. Another pattern among the happiest of couples figured out “a few little things” that make a big difference.
For example, a husband would report grabbing his wife’s hand while walking across a parking lot. Or he would put his arm around his wife, say “I love you” randomly — or place his hand on her knee while driving in the car. These touch points really resonated with women.
“These little things have this big impact on a day to day basis on making any man or any woman feel cared for,” she said.
4) Reconnecting Well After Conflict: How couples handle conflict is also key.
“They don’t necessarily follow the advice to not go to bed mad,” she said, noting that it’s all about how the anger is dealt with before bed and what happens the next day.
Men need more processing time than women, which means that talking contentious issues out before bed isn’t always the best option.
She continued, “The problem is, when you’ve got two tired, stressed, emotional people … you’re putting yourself in a position where someone’s going to say something hurtful or agree to something — and it doesn’t solve the problem [before bed].”
5) Be All In: In a culture that is characterized by talk of divorce and the failure of many marriages, some couples fear what could become of their unions and, as a result, they become guarded. But Feldhahn said that being “all in” is a key element in good marriages. The happiest couples reported being fully invested in their relationships.
“They risked getting their hearts hurt in order to commit to their marriage,” she said. “They never said the ‘d’ word [divorce] — and they fully committed, fully trusted — even at the risk of themselves. And what happened is they got back the marriage they were longing for.”
OTHER METHODS - Couples that protect themselves and put up guards “introduced death into their marriages.”
1. Go to bed at the same time: Remember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldn’t wait to go to bed with each other to make love? Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps. And when their skins touch it still causes each of them to tingle unless one or both are too completely exhausted to feel sexually excited.
2. Cultivate common interests: After the passion settles down, it’s common to realize that you have few interests in common. But don’t minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevent you from appearing too dependent.
3. Walk hand in hand or side by side: Rather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk comfortably hand in hand or side by side. They know it’s more important to be with their partner than to see the sights along the way.
4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode: If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can’t resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.
5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong: If you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.
6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work: Our skin has a memory of “good touch” (loved), “bad touch” (abused) and “no touch” (neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the “good touch,” which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.
7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning: This is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances.
8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feel: This tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident.
9. Do a “weather” check during the day: Call your partner at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great way to adjust expectations so that you’re more in sync when you connect after work. For instance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him or her to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you.
10. Be proud to be seen with your partner: Happy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionate contact — hand on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showing off but rather just saying that they belong with each other.
1. Go to bed at the same time: Remember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldn’t wait to go to bed with each other to make love? Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps. And when their skins touch it still causes each of them to tingle unless one or both are too completely exhausted to feel sexually excited.
2. Cultivate common interests: After the passion settles down, it’s common to realize that you have few interests in common. But don’t minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevent you from appearing too dependent.
3. Walk hand in hand or side by side: Rather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk comfortably hand in hand or side by side. They know it’s more important to be with their partner than to see the sights along the way.
4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode: If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can’t resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.
5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong: If you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.
6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work: Our skin has a memory of “good touch” (loved), “bad touch” (abused) and “no touch” (neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the “good touch,” which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.
7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning: This is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances.
8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feel: This tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident.
9. Do a “weather” check during the day: Call your partner at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great way to adjust expectations so that you’re more in sync when you connect after work. For instance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him or her to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you.
10. Be proud to be seen with your partner: Happy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionate contact — hand on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showing off but rather just saying that they belong with each other.
FIRST TIME - Iranian Warships Travel Close to U.S. Borders
Iranian warships dispatched to the Atlantic Ocean will travel close to U.S. maritime borders for the first time.
The commander of Iran’s Northern Navy Fleet, Admiral Afshin Rezayee Haddad, said the vessels have already entered the Atlantic Ocean via waters near South Africa, the official IRNA news agency reported.
IRNA quoted Haddad as saying the fleet is approaching U.S. maritime borders for the first time. The Islamic Republic considers the move as a response to U.S. naval deployments near its own coastlines.
The voyage comes amid an ongoing push by Iran to demonstrate its ability to project power across the Middle East and beyond. The fleet, consisting of a destroyer and a helicopter-carrying supply ship, began its voyage last month from the southern Iranian port city of Bandar Abbas. The ships, carrying some 30 navy academy cadets for training along with their regular crews, are on a three-month mission. The U.S. Navy’s 5th fleet is based in Bahrain, just across the Persian Gulf.
Given Obama’s blind support and fanatical radicalism towards the mullah’s of Iran, I have room for doubts. If the Iranians do decide to go terminally stupid and strike out at the USA, then we reduce their navy flotilla to a state of becoming artificial reefs for the fish. Yet I cannot put it past Obama to deliberately allow the Iranian’s to strike out at the USA, and then use the incident to place blame on some political opponent, and dispose of them once and for all. Nothing can be put past this mad man. Although Iran is probably just messing with Obama. Could you imagine them pulling this with Reagan or Plural Bush? Even imagine it with Clinton?
No way. Not a chance. Carter, maybe… and Barry, for sure (obviously). Not those other guys, though.
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